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Question 80

As an atheist, do you ever feel left out or excluded by any of your friends who hold religious beliefs? Does this bother you?

• I have friends of many faiths, including Catholics, Buddhists, Nondenominational, Jews, and even a Mormon. They all know I'm not religious, but this doesn't adversely affect our relationship in any way. (Chris Nelson #135

• Yes, and yes. I have no problem attending religious services in situations like weddings, funerals, and baptisms -- but I definitely feel like an outsider, and it is not altogether a pleasant feeling. Apart from that, not really. (Petteri Sulonen #1442)

• No, but I don't usually discuss religion with my friends. Most of my friends who are theist tend to be liberal Christians, Jews, Unitarians, and Pagans. I don't think religion is a *major* part of their lives, and so most of the things we do together or talk about simply don't relate to it.

  I have a couple of friends who are fundamentalists, and we've had some lively debates/discussions on religion and politics. We ended up agreeing to disagree on those subjects. They're both nice people who aren't the pushy (I have to convert you) type, so we get along really well.

  I don't participate in their religious activities because it doesn't interest me, so I don't feel left out. (Anna #1490)

• Not at all. I don't want to go to church with my Xian friends, so exclusion is just fine and dandy. My Pagan brother, when I go back home to Ottawa, has invited me to rituals with his circle. I've gone a few times, it's really a lot of fun. (Nicolas P. Demers #155)

• Most of my friends aren't particularly religious, and those that are tend to be Buddhists or Pagans, who generally don't care what beliefs or lack thereof others have, so my short answer would have to be "no". (raven1 #1096)

• I feel left out, belittled, insulted, and annoyed by most of the people I knew as friends when I was a believer. Most of them have no decency - I've decided to avoid nearly all of them, self-righteous bastards that they are. (Nemo #1331)

• Nope, my friends are a mixed bag of atheists, agnostics, don't- carists, and theists. We pretty much leave each other alone. Religion (or lack of) is rarely discussed, we have better things to do.

  It would bother me more if they tried to include me in their religious events, knowing where I stand. (Keith Brannen #713)

• Nope. In Finland it is exceedingly rare to meet someone my age who gives a rats ass about religion anymore. I've had one discussion abou atheism, and even that was a friend of a friend. Oh, i had another as well, another friend of mine found some of my posts on a.a, and found the group inspirational and really fun. I think he's a regular lurker. And no it doesn't bother me. (Kalle Helenius #907)

• No, the *opposite* is true. They keep wanting to drag me into their religious observances and rituals. Christmas tends to be a bit stressful, because I ask them to please *not* give me any presents, since I don't want to celebrate Christmas in *any* way. A few friends will comply, but every year I get about a dozen presents from friends who insist on involving me in their chief ritual ("It's all about giving!") (Carl Funk #1229)

• Y'know, I never really thought about it until this question was posed here!

  My friends who are religious are used to the way I think, and they leave me alone. I love them for that. They do, however, think it's sad that I have no faith. I tell them I have faith in myself before anything else, but they say it's not the same.

  The problems I encounter come from strangers, which is surprising to me. When I was in college, I made a new best friend, and that included his family. Until one day when his mother happened to ask him what faith I am. When he said "none" she turned very cold towards me. Suddenly I was a bad person. See, her husband is a Methodist deacon, so she thinks she is vice-Jesus. It didn't bother me at all that she changed her mind about what a nice guy I was. What amazed me was that it didn't bother my friend either.

  But that seems to be the way with people. I get to know them, get along great with them, then I hit them with the atheism thing and everything changes. I've had people stop associating with me because of it.

  It does not bother me per se. I could give a good fuck that they don't agree with me. I think they are sad for keeping their blind faith in magic. What bugs me is that it is a form of bigotry and they deny that point. I can't stand it when anyone doesn't like someone else for a reason he can't help. (Jaco66 #1538)