Answer175

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Answer175

Question175

Do any atheists/agnostics in alt.atheism have theist friends with whom you can discuss atheism and theism? Does having these friends help to keep you tolerant of relion followers?

I have three now. A Jehovah's Witness a Muslim and a Catholic. Neither has tried to convert me and all three are very open minded. The Muslim is from Iran and sometimes brings Persian poetry, reads it in his language and repeats it in English. It's beautiful stuff. He's trying to learn to speak redneck southern and I've seldom heard anything so funny in my life. ("Looky heah y'all" doesn't sound the quite the same with a thick Iranian accent :)

They haven't made me more tolerant of religion because I'm tolerant of most things that are none of my business. But then they don't try to force their religion on me. I posted this story my Muslim friend told me a while back. He's one of the funniest guys I know and I nearly fell out of my chair on this one. He swears it's true.

I have a friend from Iran who came to America about ten years ago. He got involved with a very lively local church that has an outreach program for immigrants. They invited him to a service and of course considering the help they had given him he accepted. He's a very proper Muslim and a true gentleman and wouldn't think of doing anything to offend. His English wasn't very good but he didn't think it would matter. He was sitting next to the rather large lady who had invited him and was sort of squeezed in between her and another lady. As I mentioned, it's a lively church and it didn't take long for the congregation to start responding to the preachers sermon. The lady next to my friend threw up her hands, turned to him and started shouting "hallelujah hallelujah!" He thought he had accidentally touched her improperly, which can get a body hurt in Iran, and that she was yelling "to hell with you, to hell with you!" He leapt to his feet and ran for the door but a couple of ushers grabbed him near the exit and asked what was wrong. In a panic he shouted "I swear by all that is holy, I did not touch that woman!" It took a bit for them to realize what had happened and to calm him down but he was very happy to get out alive and never did go back. (atheist@home#1554)

Not currently. but I had a few. One was a Catholic, a very good school friend in Germany, but we lost contact since I left the country. Another friend of mine joined one of the new charismatic Xian movements, but left them after a year (regrettably, not because of my shiny arguments :)).

But, I lost a friend to religion (altough not a theist one, to be precise): he was a quite intelligent guy, but one day, he started with Amway, and landed in Scientology a year later. At that time, any conservation with him turned into proselytizing.

My other friends are/were all atheists.

Does having these friends help to keep you tolerant of religion followers?

Not really. My tolerance is based on the knowledge that most religion followers (at least around me) think belief is a private matter. (Daneel #323)

Yes I have theist friends and I have discussed some aspects of their religion - mainly their attempts to convince me that they're perfectly sane or that the scientists are out to get them. I find the conversations make me want to join some kind of militant anti-theist organisation immediately. Those of my friends and family who are religious but *don't* talk about it, tend to restore my equilibrium. (diem #1549)

Absolutely. One of my best friends is a fundamentalist minister. We both worked at the same company, and we've always had fierce but friendly debates that often leave me feeling energized and well-armed for dealing with the theists here. Brad, at least, is something of a sane human being, even if he does have invisible friends. (Elf Sternbern #1493)

I think it would be impossible for anyone to not know someone of a different religion, at least where I live. The problem is feeling comfortale to discuss religion with them. I have always had friends of many different religions and I prefer to spend my times with those who I can discuss a variety of issues with without negativity becoming involved. That might very well be the definition of friendship. Personal name calling should not be a part of it.

So, I have friends of christian beliefs, jewish beliefs, muslim, buddhist, and a variety of pagan beliefs. Each one adds to my understanding of others and myself. You can't attempt to live in a vacuum of people who only agree with you. That is what leads to fanaticism. We see that here quite a bit.

I appreciate all of the people in my life. After hanging around in AA for a time it can be easy to think negatively about a group of people and only keeping personal contact with people can make it possible to rehumanize them. (ClayeSkye #4)

Not now, but in the past I've had several theist friends with whom I could carry on a polite conversation. In one place where I worked, this one fellow used to bring his bible to the lunchroom every day and read it over lunch. One day, I happened to be sitting at his table, and he asked me what I thought about biblical prophecy. Since he asked politely, I just smiled and said that as an atheist, I don't believe most of what's in the bible. He asked me about my atheism and we started talking.

What I liked about the guy was that although he disagreed with me, he did remain civil, and didn't try to proselytize me. I found it interesting to listen to his views and we started having regular lunchtime discussions.

When I left the company, he told me that our discussions had made his faith stronger, and I told him that they helped sharpen and define my views about atheism and religion. We still keep in touch, and actually I miss those talks. I think it shows that atheists and theists can get along, with just a little mutual respect and courtesy. Unfortunately not all theists are like my friend. (John Hachmann #1782)

Yes and Yes. I can certainly see the attraction of religion, so I don't see that I can neccesarily disrespect people for believing. What I do object to is theists trying to get me to validate their world-view by converting and using their beliefs to justify illogical view-points.

I have had a number of theist friends, including a YEC, none of whom ever tried to convert me (yes, that even includes the YEC). I have had some fascinating conversations with theists and agnostics.

To be honest, so long as someone's views don't impede me in anyway, I am happy for them to hold them. I don't really see it as my place to tolerate them or not.

The sort of theist I definitely won't get on with are the sort who try and convert you, even after being told politely that you aren't interested. Usually born agains or JW's, IME. As for atheism, I explain my beliefs if I am asked but I have never found the for's and against's of atheism that interesting a topic compared to Morality vs. Amorality, say. ("The" Owen #1883)

I have some friends that can *sort of* discuss these things, without it becoming a heated debate, but sometimes it does become just that. As of late, I do my best to just avoid discussing it altogether, with them. Not always easy, as they are usually the ones that bring it up! Aaahhh!!! One friend, I even told, that if we were going to remain friends, the issue will never be brought up, again. (That was after a particularly annoying discussion that we had.)

There's an old wives' tale that goes something like this, "Friends should never discuss baseball, politics, or religion." If you really care for someone, as a person, this is probably a pretty wise thing to go by. (Hellhammer #1876)

I have a Mormon friend currently on a mission, and we discuss (a)theism through the mail every now and then. In high school he was rather agnostic, but pulled a 180 our first semester in college. But, it's his choice, and at least his beliefs are based on his own thoughts rather than a blind acceptance of what people tell him. As for whether it keeps me tolerant of religion followers... I've always been tolerant of them. People's beliefs are their own, and they should be free to believe whatever they want no matter how bizarre. That doesn't mean that I won't make fun of them at times though. =) (Senfmeister #1732)

Yes, and yes. I've been carrying on conversations over lunch with a Catholic theology student. We agreed up front not to attempt to convert the other. We've had a few get-down arguments, and quite a lot of back-and-forth. Other than the "official" discussions, we get along just fine. He's even referred to me as "the resident expert on Quantum Wierdness" a couple of times (our groups of techies get into some pretty wide-ranging conversations when it's not fire-in-the-hole time.)

Aside from those discussions, most of my friends are atheists or just don't give a hoot. I had one case of atheist-intolerance at work, but it was squelched pretty quick. Seems the intolerant one had been preaching to others besides me. As to my own tolerance, it's the same as here: Don't preach at me and I won't atheize at you. (Fred Stone #1369)

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