Answer162

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Answer162

Question162

If you are/were a parent raising your child without religion, how would/did you handle someone who, in spite of your expressed wish not to raise your child/children religiously, tried to teach your child/children religion for you?

I would object. The nature and form of that objection would depend on the age of my child, the age of the person doing the proselytizing and the relationship of that person to my child. But I would definitely act to make it stop.

However, I also would have -- hopefully before this became an issue -- begun to teach my child about the alternatives to the god idea and the various religions that have grown out of the various versions of that idea. And I would have given that child basic information about religion and the various devises used by its practitioners to snare the unwary.

I think the best sort of inoculation for the disease of religion is thorough familiarity with it. (George Ricker #226)

Surely the best way to raise a child is to present the options and let him/her decide? (Duncan)

Luckily I live in England where everyone is far too embarrassed to mention religion even to adults. To children, it's impossible to carry on telling them something in the face of a giant yawn closely followed by a pityingly contemptuous look.

The only strong religious influence (meant to convert to or sustain the family religion) is from parents. Even then the secular attitudes often have a nicely diluting effect. (I get some wonderful reports from my daughter about the only *really* religious girl among her acquaintance. Even there - the kid gets the sympathy, the mother the raised eyebrow.) (Diem Marshal #1459)

I don't have kids, but if I did, I would take the person aside and politely, but firmly tell him/her, please don't proselytize my kids.

If they did it again, I would tell them exactly what I thought about them and their irrational myths, and to stay the away from my kids.

The third time, if it happened, well I hope that I wouldn't become too violent. I wonder what sort of legal action one could take in such a case? I think at minimum, I would try to get some kind of a restraining order. (John Hachmann #1782)

Depends on how old the children was and if they were old enough to decide for themselves, but most importanly if I did get children I'd make sure to teach them about religion, myself - making sure they were prepared for there being some people who believe that kind of things and all - I only could only hope and try to be as openminded about it as my own mother has been - when we talked about death and what happens after that, she said that nobody knew that for sure, but that she personally believed that people went to heaven to be with God - but she emphasised that noone knew for sure and that was only what she believed - I suppose I'd say something to that effect - that I didn't see any evidence or reason to believe in the afterlife, but some people happened to believe in it... Then I'd leave the final decission for themselves to take... (Nikitta #1759)

It would depend on the age of the child, and on the intensity of the person trying to introduce the child to their religion. If it's a case of telling a 6 year old that they'll burn in hell forever if they don't say prayers at night, I'd react pretty strongly.

If the kid in question is a bit older, and the adult in question took the more benign approach of telling the child what they believe, it might actually open the door to some open communication. The parent could, at that point, spend some time discussing the many, many

beliefs that have been held by different cultures and societies. Everything from the ancient gods to the more recent belief systems could be touched on, as well as the atheistic POV. Then one could tell the child that the best thing for them to do is learn as much as possible about all the opposing views, think long and hard about which stance strikes them as being most logical and reasonable, and leave it up to the child.

As much as it would pain me to see the kid fall into the clutches of some religious fanaticism, it seems like telling them that my views are right because I say so, case closed, would be a *very* bad idea. The old "lure of the forbidden" thing might come back to bite me on the ass in that situation.

Anyway, I don't have children, and I'm reasonably sure that I never will, so maybe I'm waaay off base here. My younger sisters constantly baffle me, so I'm far from an expert on child behavior. The above just seems like a reasonable way to handle the situation. (Tess #605)

Interestingly enough (well, to me, anyway), I was just having a conversation about childrearing with my girlfriend in which I said something similar...where I suggested that you explain things to the child and let them make decisions. She agreed that that would work...with a child old enough to really understand...say, 10 and above. But with little kids? Probably not. She made me realize that, until a certain age, children really CAN'T make some decisions.

Would you apply your proposed standard to everything the kid wanted to learn about? Your 6 year old comes home and says "Mommy, Mr. Johnson wanted to teach me how to shoot a shotgun. Can I go?" "Mommy, Mr. Azid wants to tell me how Allah is the only God and Muhammad is His prophet. Can I go?" "Mommy, Jerry wants to let me listen to Eminem, can I?"

To all of these examples, I would discuss the situation and probably let the kid go...IF the child was old enough to make an informed judgement. The stipulated 6 year old would not be. After 10, it gets much hazier. Your statement of letting the child choose is overly simplistic. (The Jester #774)

When my children were at school, Religious Instruction was still compulsory. The only explanation I ever gave was to ask if they believer in Santa, and if not, why not? Of course I raised them on Greek and Norse mythology, faerie tales, and xtian and Hebrew myth. They were quite conversant with mythology in almost all it's guises by the time they started learning religion at school. My youngest did blot his copy book though.

He was looking out the window in RI class. The teacher, trying to be sarcastic I think, asked if he didn't think he should learn about Jesus. He told her that the stories about Thor and Loki and the Ice Giants were better, stories about jesus were boring, "He never did anything, just talked and got killed" (sums it up pretty well) I was invited to the school for a "Chat", very ominous. I was confronted by the RI teacher and the Head, it didn't go well. Mrs whatever-her-name-was, the Ri teacher opened the batting;

Did I know that my child thought that RI was a joke?

I replied, "Yes?

and that he was disrupting the rest of the class?

In what way "disrupting"?

It was my xtian duty to se that my children were properly instructed in xtianity.

Me, "Does that include Muslims and Hindus?"

We were talking about "english" xtian children.

Me, "We are not english, nor xtian"

Mrs whatever-her-name-was then accused me of being evasive, I sounded english enough to her.

The head joins in, he has been looking through his files. "Gene scored very well in his last RI test"

Me "I should hope he did"

Two surprised looks.

Mrs whatever-her-name-was, "But you said that you are not a xtian".

Me, "It counts towards his exams"

Silence.

Head master, "Well if you could tell him to just look like he is paying attention"

Me, "I'll speak to him"... "Was there anything else?".

There wasn't.

The next RI class, and every RI class after that, my son was stuck at the back of the class in the corner by the window, right where he wanted to be. (Puck #162)

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