Are atheist sexual mores based pretty much on
Judeo/Christian norms or is there a tendency toward
(for instance) polygamy or open relationships among
atheists?
An I've said before, people should have a strong work ethic, be
compassionate and giving because they are good people and not robot zombies
who will go to hell if they don't, and by all means, shield your children
from these evil mental viruses that have infected 90% of the world's
population.
A lot of people around here (probably Xtians) seem to have a philosophy of life
of "Do I haaaave to?", which is mainly applied to anything which might
accomplish something good. (Mark Lloyd aa#1524)
While I think that strong stable relationships are a healthy thing,
especially when children are involved, I do not accept that
relationships must be 'monogamous' to be stable or healthy.
Whatever arrangement works and is satisfying for the individuals
involved is all that really matters.
I happen to find the idea of 'marriage' absurd and woefully outdated,
but then that's just me.
A relationship should last only as long as the love does, when the love
is over those involved should just move on.
So, I suppose I fall into the *definately not* judeo/christian norm
catagory, but I don't necessarily advocate any particular kind of
relationship, just that it should be whatever works for the individuals
involved at the time. (Dr. Necrophage)
Having said that, it does not necessarily follow that
religion is the source of these mores. Quite often
what's socially acceptable predates religions who
claim to have promoted these ideas. In recorded
history monogamy has been a standard which predates
xianity, islam and other religions by centuries -
Babylon, Egypt, Asia, and many other countries.
Polygamy has only appeared in places where a small
minority have had disproportionate wealth or positions
of power. From the partly true/partly mythical arab
harem to the mormon multiple wife rule, to mistresses
amongst royalty and wealthy families in Europe and
Asia, fooling around on the side has been a peculiarity
of pecuniary people. One could suggest the rich feel
they are "entitled" to something the poor cannot have,
hardly a moral stand.
As to whether atheists are more likely or less likely
to want a "piece" on the side, I don't have an answer.
But I would not be surprised if it turned out that
religious and right wing people are more likely to be
hypocrites on this issue - be it Jimmy Swaggart, Newt
Gingrich (a 2nd wife), or any of their ilk. (Bob Dog)
Certain living arrangements facilitate various goals in life better than
others and thus the way we live should reflect what we'd like to accomplish.
A monogomous lifetime relationship should be considered as just another
living arrangement that suits itself to a certain purpose. Nothing moral,
sacred, or final about it. There is no reason to live by a wrong or
unecessary set of rules. (Hendrix Fan aa #1692)
Regardless of what the fundies try to tell us, sex is here to stay. Then
again, if recent polls can be believed, most people don't pay much attention
to them in this matter either. For example just today I saw:
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20001017/od/sex_dc_2.html
Without the hangups about religion, I believe that atheists would
be more open to premarital sex, and be less concerned about
matters of sexual orientation for themselves and others.
The few atheist married couples that I do know seem to practice
a fairly standard monogamous relationship. If one looks around
the world, this is pretty much the usual practice. Although some
groups do permit polygamy, it seems that most Muslims and
Mormons whom have I have met are also in a one to one.
I don't have any statistics, but I think that atheists would also have
an average divorce rate. IOW, except for our lack of belief, we're
just folks too. (John Hachmann aa#1782)
So atheists follow the sensible ones and reject the senseless ones. Fortunately,
most religious people aren't particularly religious and do the same. For the same
reasons, atheists don't commit murder even though they don't feel bound by the ten commandment's prohibition against it. (David Schwartz)
I see no reason why consenting adults shouldn't make whatever liasons they
feel comfortable with, though... (Nemo aa#1331)
Actually, I'm not at all sure what is meant by "atheist sexual mores." Are
there special sets of mores followed by atheists? Is there some
identifiable pattern of sexual behavior that sets atheists apart from the
rest of society?
Since atheism is the lack of belief in god(s) or the belief there are no
god(s), it offers us nothing in the way of moral guidance. Atheists adopt
their morality from the cultural milieu in which they live. It also should
be noted that the phrase "Judeo/Christian norms" isn't that clear either.
Those norms will be different - and will be applied differently - in
different cultures. And let's not forget that there are places in the
world where the moral tradition comes from sources other than Judaism and
Christianity.
Atheists may tend to be more adventurous and less dogmatic in applying
whatever moral code they follow than the general population. But then, I
suspect the same thing could be said of some theists. (George Ricker)
That being said, there are definate human advantages to monogamy that have made
it the norm in many societies. One relationship is much less complicated for
starters, especially once children become involved. In an evolutionary sense,
that's the goal. I've heard the argument that women would be better off having
sex with a lot of men if survival of the species were the goal. But it is more
likely that choosing a man likely to protect, provide for and give strong
offspring would be the best way to survive.
Now those traits have changed of course. There are new reasons that monogamy
might be a better choice.
I've always found it easier to have one relationship. More than one is too
much trouble. Ultimately, people are hard enough to deal with that more than
one is just a pain. (ClayeSkye #4)
Well, here goes; although currently in a monogamous relationship, I've
basically lived most of my adult life in a stereotypical rock musician
way, with multiple simultaneous open relationships and assorted
one-nighters. (I've particularly enjoyed having menages-a-trois in
several different combinations). I just eventually decided to settle
down in a committed relationship with one person (and if she ever
decides she wants another threesome one of these days, I wouldn't say
no...)
I have absolutely no guilt or regrets about my former lifestyle; while
sex with someone you love is the greatest thing in the world, sex
without love is still damn good! (raven1)
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