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Question130
For atheists who were once theists: do you remember what it felt like to believe in a god?
Do youever miss it?
- Well having gone through many "spirit days" in trying to decide if I should go into the priesthood or not, I have to say that I really believed. And since that wasn't that long ago only six or seven years ago, I can
still remember somewhat how I felt like back then.
I can not say that I miss it at all, I do recall it once in and a while
when I am feeling nostalgic or whatever, but after I just laugh at how stupid I was, and how I could feel a certain way when it was really just drilled into me for fifteen years and not once did I question or try to
look for fallacies in what i was told!!! (Ernest Dumenigo #1613)
- Yes, and no. I do sometimes miss the feeling of community I had in the church, but I don't miss the belief itself. (Chris Ho-Stuart #150)
- Thinking back, it's difficult to say that I ever actually believed in it. I was just parroting back what I was taught, and the second I started
to think about it, I realized it was pretty silly.
> Do youever miss it?
No more than I miss the Easter Bunny. (raven1 #1096)
- It was comforting.
I miss the easy fix. The simple explanation as to the Big Why(even though
it is in fact quite empty) and the readily available answers to the myriad little whys(all equally suspect). I am lazy, physically and intellectually
- religion has alot of charm for the intellectually lazy.
I do not miss the bigotry, the superstition, the ignorance the subjugation, the un-naturalness nor the fear/shame/guilt. (Ciaran ONeill)
- Stark raving terror. Terror of constantly being a bug under a
microscope with even my random thoughts known. Never a word of praise or gentle assistance or gentle correction. Every random thought or action gleefully noted down in a big book to be used against me after my (already known and scheduled) death.
>> Do youever miss it?
You've got to be kidding. (Stoney #9)
- No. I am ashamed of the fact that I was ever an xtian and believed
in that bankrupt theology. I don't miss it; I am trying to forget it.
(Clothaire #1392)
- I began to have doubts when I was 11yrs old, largely based on the
brutality and ignorance of schoolmasters & xian brothers towards the kids they were supposed to be educating. Between 11 and 15, I only pretended to go to church on Sundays. Then at 15 I decided this was only a cop-out so I changed back to going to church while at the same time reading every book
I could get my hands on, ranging through theology, philosophy, psychology, anthropology etc. with the primary object of making the teachings of the
RCC compatible with real life experience. Naturally I failed.
But it was only after 10 years of heavy reading that I finally realised
the god concept had never been mine to start with.
My environment was totally RCC and it had taken some real heavy mental wrestling to deal with the god concept.
It literally felt like a ton weight being lifted off my shoulders.
>Did I ever miss it? Yes, like not having to carry a ton weight all the
time. (Joe Davis #1762)
- I'm not sure I miss the belief in god (if I ever really had it, which
is a whole other subject).
But I'll tell you what I do miss:
I miss getting up on Sunday mornings and going to a place where everyone smiled. Didn't matter that the smiles were based on false premises.The
fact is, folks were happy. There was a sense of camaraderie; of community and of belonging. I miss the potluck dinners, the Wednesday night chats,
the friends I made, and a sense of something indefinably 'nice.' Perhaps
it was merely an overriding civility; an illusion of well-being, as if we survived in a bubble of unreality where everything is good and right and holy, and outside, the storm raged.
It's windy out here in the open, isn't it? (chibiabos)
- I remember what it was like. It wasn't really that different from how
I am now; I have the same basic feeling towards things now that I did when
I was mormon. Looking back though, I don't think I ever REALLY believed it past about 14. Around then is when I started on the road to atheism. I believed that god had created us through evolution, even though a lot of
my friends had a problem with that. I then became a semi-deist. I thought that for the most part, god left us alone, but every now and then would interfere with us. Agnosticism was next for awhile, until I found this place. Now I'm a strong atheist.
As for part two: not a bit. (Der Senfmeister #1732)
- When I first doubted that GodŽ existed, I was sure that I would be struck by lightning or meet some other suitably retributory demise. My childhood indoctrination worked exactly as planned. I understand why theists mention divine punishment so often. The threat is very, very real to them.
I miss the comforting, albeit empty, promise that there would always be someone to watch over me, but that simply may be nostalgia. I remember my god beliefs in much the same manner as I remember the Christmas I received
a Betsy Wetsy doll -- as part of my childhood to which I neither can nor really want to return. I don't miss the mental gymnastics that one must perform to try to reconcile the tenets of religion to reality. I never
could grasp the three-gods-in-one concept nor could I merely accept such dogma without questioning. As with others on a.a., my attempt to better understand my faith led to its abandonment as an incoherent concept.
(Liz Huth #658)
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