What experiences have you had when you told family, friends,
co-workers, former ministers, etc., that you were an atheist?
I have friends who don't know my views, and I don't know theirs - in the UK the
subject is hardly ever discussed in a social setting or the work-place. Bet you're
jealous! ;) [June Gill #364]
Wife's family: My wife is a theist, she is not a creationist, finds problems with
the bible, rarely goes to church. Her parents and her sister (and her husband) are
creationists. Her brother (and his wife) are atheists. Family get-togethers can take
an interesting turn, but on the whole religion is usually not discussed. Well, they
may say something, but I usually ignore the bait, I have learned you can't argue
with a brick wall. Actually, until I met them I had never met a creationist before.
When my wife's parents found out I was an atheist there was the expected
consternation, but it soon passed, after all their son is also an atheist.
Friends: Never been a problem, they are a mixture of atheists, agnostics, and
theists. Since I was an atheist at an early age, my friends have always known where
I stood.
Co-workers: No big deal, no known fundies, religion rarely brought up, most know
where I stand, and not afraid to say if asked.
Former ministers: When the minister at the church (Anglican) where I went found out
I was not going to be confirmed, he asked me why, I told him, he asked whether I
wanted to talk about it, I said no, end of story. [Keith Brannen #713]
But, among dozens of people, she was the only one who was pissed. [willwink]
Co-Workers - Most refused to discuss it, which was fine with me. They treated me
pretty much the same as usually. Of course, the GodZealots amongst them intensified
their efforts at conversion (the same efforts that lead to the disclosure to begin
with). But after a few polite but firm rebuffs on my part, all except the most
determined gave up. The really determined ones had to eventually be subjected to
my standard 2-hour diatribe on the evils of god, the stupidity of man, and the sin
of not thinking (frequently accompanied by many really good jesus jokes) before
they would leave me in peace.
Friends - Now this is where my atheism has brought the most difficulties. If you
all think it's rough being an atheist...try being a BLACK ATHEIST!!! Most of my
friends are Black and their reactions really surprised me at first, now I don't
care.
Black people will forgive another Black person almost anything (dealing drugs to
our kids, murdering 2 people in LA, being a Republican, even selling out {assuming
of course they repent}) but the one thing they will NOT forgive you for is being an
atheist. Don't get me wrong they will tolerate it, try to convert you, even get
over their hurt...but you will never be forgiven...you are never the same in their
eyes.
All in all, my atheism doesn't really bother most folks I know (I've learned to
weed out those who can't tolerate it). [Janet Griffin]
A co-worker once asked me if I had chosen a church yet. I said, "No, I'm not
religious." Her reaction was one of relief, since she's not religious
either, and immediately we started griping and joking about fundies!
The other day I got together with a group of former co-workers, and we
started discussing million-dollar ideas. As it happened, we drove past a
major fundie church, and so I mentioned "Savior-on-a-Stick", and they burst
out laughing. Another person mentioned "Pope-on-a-Rope". I was pleasantly
surprised, considering I live in Kentucky! (Chris Nelson #135)
I don't wear an a.a. badge on my sleeve, so otherwise it only comes
up when somebody says something about God.
Then it depends.
I've had drunken friends try to convert me on the spot. (Fred Stone #1369)
Anyway, the gist of the confrontation was first, seeking reassurance
that I wasn't going to attempt to sway my nephew and niece away from
religion (I agreed, reserving the right to answer their questions
honestly when they were of an age to start asking them), followed by
the assertion that "I was raised right and had a good foundation in
God, and that I'd find my way back into the fold."
Later that weekend, my mother snuck into the living room while I was
napping on the couch and, asuming I was asleep, read a couple of quiet
prayers over me. I continued to feign sleep -- if I hadn't, I
would've had a _very_ hard time holding my tongue at that point, and
her feelings were already hurt badly enough by then.
To this day, I can't have a conversation with my mother without
religion coming into it in some form, with my mother talking about
"blessings" and "miracles" and "prayer", trying to subtly nudge me
back toward christianity. And so far, I haven't had the heart to do
more than just respond with a noncommital "mm-hmm" here and there and
pretend to be listening.
Oh, and my reassurances aside, I'm no longer allowed to spend time
alone with my nephew and niece. It hasn't been flat out stated, but
when I volunteer to take 'em somewhere, there's always my brother or
his wife or my mother stepping in to do it themselves or come along
for the ride for themselves. Before I told my brother of my atheism,
I was allowed time alone with them fairly regularly -- I was the sole
witness to my nephew's first steps, forinstance, because I was lucky
enough to be babysitting him at the time.
The situation is more or less stable, if a bit tense at times. I've
still got a long way to go before my family truly accepts my lack of
belief, and even longer before they'll ever learn to respect it. And,
until then, I'm a welcome outcast...they're glad to see me come visit,
but always seem a little relieved when I'm ready to leave.
One of these days, we're all going to have to confront the issue head
on. I just haven't been able to gather the courage to force the
matter -- I'm afraid of the hurt it will cause, especially to my
mother, and that I'll no longer be welcome there as a result. (WhiskeyJack)
Many religious acquaintances would just say; "Oh." in disappointment
and leave it at that. Many offered to pray for me (Actually quite a
few said that. If prayer worked, I'd be so holy that I would probably
be Pope by now.) One tried to convert me. He was actually a nice guy,
and I used to enjoy our discussions about religion. Needless to say he
failed. Only one fundy actually chased me down the halls at work
trying to get me to read his damned bible. He was so ridiculous that
everyone laughed at him and make fun of him. I don't think that he
ever got the point of the humor. (John Hachmann #1782)
Co-workers, I try and leave alone. I don't want to know. (Owen Hughes #1883)
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